spidergoat magic item market

purchasing a magic item requires paying 5,000 coins and d4 days of research simply to view d3 items for purchase. Each of these items can be bought for an additional 5,000 coins upon viewing. to find other items for sale an additional 5.000 coins and d4 days must be spent for d3 more items.

benefits: roll 1

1. stronger: +2  armor
2. reflecting: magic deflects off item
3. if used to strike opponent will deal d4 extra lighting/acid/fire
4. item has personality, knows shit
5. opponent's weapons stick to item
6. softens blows to wielder/wearer: attacks use next lower damage die
7. doesn't interfere with spellcasting (if applicable)
8. casts magic missle 1/day
9. grants nightvision, 35'
10. has large "A" on it; reflects spears only

additional attributes (roll 1):

1. loved ones think you smell bad
2. eyeballs
3. item bruises, will die if overused
4. can self-destruct as time bomb, 5d6 10'
5. item is so large that it cannot fit in house, perfectly usable, does normal damage (think buster sword -ed)
6. has many cracks in it
7. seems very old ans cannot be cleaned, trails dust, makes things around it seem old
8. throwing this item in a pit will "hurt" the pit
9. feather falls - just the item, tho
10. item occasionally goes and has its own adventures
11. attracts mice
12. user feels time slower, no benefit
13. peripheral vision has clowns
14. item poops and needs to be changed
15. ~

additional benefits (roll on this table half of the time):

1. sticky
2. shitty
3. shiny
4. bloodlust
5. x2 damage, x2 price
6. destroys armor
7. accurate +1 skill etc.
8. vomits
9. glows
10. causes lust
11. sings
12. sticky
13. hands attached
14. reverse time for those struck
15. rusty

curses (roll as needed):

1. gets very hot
2. half of the time, not "real", 
3. random targets
4. opponents occasionally get bonuses
5. screams in pain
6. super heavy
7. damns you to hell
8. eyes bleed when using
9. occasionally hits monster with you!
10. converts life force into more {item}